|
So, precisely because I am a sinner, I have fled to Thee; since there is nowhere I can flee from Thee save to Thee, Thou dost stretch out Thine arms to receive me and bend down Thy head to kiss me; Thou dost bleed that I may drink, and open Thy side in Thy desire to draw me within.
*Elfeda (Celtic Nun). The Monk of Farne.
1You are kind, God!
Please have pity on me.
You are always merciful!
Please wipe away my sins.
2Wash me clean from all
of my sin and guilt.
3I know about my sins,
and I cannot forget
my terrible guilt.
*Psalm 51.1-3 (CEV)
For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
*2 Corinthians 7.10 (NLT)
* * *
Part of the problem I have with much modern-day "spiritual metaphysics" is that it speaks of empowering persons to live powerfully and abundantly - even in material prosperity. I find much of the work lacking in the essential ingredient I will write of today. And without this ingredient, one is not prepared to be powerful or to live abundantly, or live rightly with material prosperity.
This writing is against a backdrop of a recent visit home for holidays. To end 2008 and begin 2009, I spent time alone from my usual setting and work. This provided space and solitude to look back over 2008. Part of looking back was the experience of compunction. This led to reflecting, praying, and confessing some brokenness in my own self. Ironically, the experience was a positive visit of Grace, and one I cherish. Indeed, true, spiritual compunction is graceful, for Christ is Love.
Compunction is a word I recently encountered again after not hearing it for many years. Could it be some forgotten words need re-remembering among us to revive awareness of the reality they point to?
What is that forgotten word "compunction," which once was popular in Christian spirituality? We can read "compunction," literally, and as an intensive, "to prick, or sting, completely." The word refers to the remorse accompanying a sense of guilt or violation of conscience. Ellen K. McCormack, from a theological direction defines the term as follows: Godly sorrow for sin, usually accompanied by spiritual tears welling up from the depths of our inmost being. The tears are called tears of compunction.
Actually, the New Testament uses penthos. The word derives from the Greek god Penthos, or Penthus, the god of sorrow, or grief. Among uses is James 4.9 (WEB):
Lament, mourn [verb, penthasate], and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning [noun, penthos], and your joy to gloom.
True, holy compunction is a divine blessing and evidences Grace, the Light of Love, enlightening us in Christ. However, the enlightenment is not simply elevation to a supernatural state of consciousness or a quick flight to union with God. McCormack speaks of this holy compunction as a process of painful and freeing illumination.
Compunction is an element of coming to know ourselves at a deeper level. This deep self-knowledge is often painful because we need to face up to the enslaved, unhealed, and darkened aspects of ourselves and the lives we are living. Compunction occurs as we open ourselves to God's light that illumines our own darkness.
This is, says McCormack, a cross we pick up and bear. This is joined by willingness to recognize, name, and attend to our "shortcomings."
Signs of our need for inner healing and forgiveness include the following: inner confusion, helplessness, frustration, a sense of sinfulness. Yet, with these realities, we undergo an "awareness of God's love."
Even spiritual weeping, which can occur with compunction, but not necessarily, "reminds us how much God loves us, and this reaffirmation of our transcendent dignity empowers us to be open to and accepting of the purification process that signals our growing and deepening relationship with the Lord."
Christian spiritual writers have long reminded us that the path to knowing God passes through knowing ourselves. And I have grown to appreciate more and more, in my own life, that compunction is a gracious sorrow that can be an offering of love to the Love that draws me to Love by the Light that illumines the One loving me, through the very illumination that sheds its ray of Mercy upon my shortcomings.
The wounding of Love is of one grace with the healing of Love. In confessing what the Light illumines, though it causes me godly sorrow, I receive healing. There is no way to healing but through some experience of compunction. And this sometimes can be over a specific sin, other times over a general sense of sin.
* * *
I have found a blessing through reading with awareness and out loud the words of Psalm 51. I recommend you practice reading the Psalm as your prayer. As you do, it will grow on you, so to speak, and you will find it healing and encouraging.
* * *
*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com . Brian is in need of more funding to purchase a desk-top computer, after his was hit by lightening and is inoperable.
*The words of Elfeda are from The Northumbria Community. Celtic Daily Prayer.
*The etymological treatment of "com-" in "compunction" was assisted by Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006; "compunction" by Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001, Douglas Harper.
*McCormack's article "Compunction" is in The Upper Room Dictionary of Christian Spiritual Formation. Ed. Keith Beasley-Topliffe.
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
|
